Cloud's Abominable Experiment
by Nanami Nanase
Summary: Cloud decides to bring Aeris back to life, for reasons only his sick mind can think of.


  
Warning: This fic contains gore and sex and, even though everything in it is written in a one hundred per cent artistic way, it shouldn't be read by minors.

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CLOUD'S ABOMINABLE EXPERIMENT

A one winged raven sat on a roof in the Forgotten Capital and looked down on a gang of six more or less weird people and one lion. A minute ago there had been eight of them, but then one had disappeared into the water in the centre of the city. The raven, which just wanted a peaceful moment for it self gave that idea up and took off towards the sleeping forest.  
Meanwhile, our friends on the ground saw something from beneath coming closer. "He's coming back now," Yuffie said and couldn't hide that she was a bit nervous about her knight.  
"I've got it," Vincent yelled as soon as his head was over the water's surface. He showed his pals the white materia.  
"Excellent," Cloud said and nodded. He took out his _Things that you need to bring back a goner to life_ list and draw a red cross over _Something that belonged to the one you want to bring back_. "Only one more ingredient needed," he continued. "Soon my dear Aeris. Soon you'll be standing next to me again…" 

On the way back to Nibelheim Tifa and Yuffie sneaked away from Highwind's bridge and had a little secret chat. "So what do you say Tifa? Is Cloud starting to go mad, or what?"  
Tifa scratched her head. "No, he's just been so excited since he found that book with Hojo's experiments. He really thinks he can bring back Aeris to life. Sure he's a freak, but not mad."  
"Ok, so when he realizes that Aeris is gone forever…"  
"…he'll be disappointed of course. But I'm sure he'll be coming over it in a month or so and chooses another girl to become his wife."  
"You?"  
"I hope so."  
"Me too. Maybe your wedding can make Vincent become a little more romantic then."

Back in the lab in the Nibelheim mansion's basement Cloud put the holy materia in a cauldron where a lot of other slimy stuff already was. "So what more do we need?" Red XIII wondered.  
"Hmm, let's see now," Cloud said and checked his book again. "The last ingredient is the heart from a girl who has slept with at least one hundred men."  
"So, where are you…" was all Tifa managed to say before Cloud had smashed his Nail Bat into her chest and ripped her pounding heart out. He put it into the cauldron.  
Suddenly someone rang on the door. "Will you go open Yuffie dearest?" Cloud wondered.  
The ninja protested but Cloud promised to not cast the spell until she was back (he was lying of course), so off she went. It was quite a long walk upstairs, but Yuffie was young and strong so in a minute or so she had opened the door. "So what do you want?" she asked Rude, Reno, Tseng, Rufus, Sephiroth, Hojo, Gast, Dyne, Dio, Don, Kotch, Scotch, Palmer, Heidegger, Johnny, Seto, the man in the pipe, Butch, Zack, Godo and a couple of dozens of other men standing outside the mansion. They didn't answer. However they all ran over her and hurried down to the basement.

An elixir stolen from a witch  
A heart taken out of a bitch  
Materia from my princess  
Mixed it all to a mess  
Based on poisonous berries  
Now bring me back my Aeris

A big shine lit up the lab and there she stood, as pretty and alive as before she had died in the Forgotten City. "Oh Cloud," Aeris said. "I knew all the time you would bring me back to the real world." She looked around and nodded to her friends. They were so many who had gathered there, just to witness this historical moment. "Uhm, Cloud," she continued. "It's a little crowdy in here. Aren't you going to ask all the others to leave for a while?"  
"Leave? Why?"  
"Well, I thought since you did all this trouble for me I thought I should reward you. I'll do anything you want me to, ok?" She winked her left eye to Cloud.  
"You really mean that? Anything?"  
She nodded and put on a cute smile.  
Cloud looked at all his friends and former enemies in there and after a while everyone smiled and raised their hands in success. "Bukkake!" they all shouted in one voice.

THE END 

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Author's note: This was the first fic The Raven One in a set of six I'm planning to write, one for each of my six favourite games. If I'm not getting reported and thrown out from you who liked this can keep your eyes on the Breath of Fire III fics, where I'll post the next. The bird who's playing a pointless role in that one will of course be a pelican. 


End file.
